Lead from the Inside Out: Developing Your Inner Leadership Team
Do you ever feel pulled in different directions?
One part of you wants to push for a bold, new strategic initiative, but another feels hesitant and worried about the potential risks.
Or perhaps one part of you is ready to say "yes" to that new high-profile project, while another part is quietly reminding you how little time you have left in the day.
Maybe you've had moments where one part of you wants to speak up in a high-stakes meeting, but another part is worried about what people will think.
These aren't just conflicting thoughts. This is your inner leadership team at work.
In a framework called Inner Team Dialogue (ITD), we see these different facets of ourselves as distinct characters, each with their own thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and motivations that influence our behavior. Instead of a single, fixed personality, you have a whole cast of players running your internal show. Think of it like a senior leadership team inside you. Here are just a few…
The Competitor is focused on winning and being better than the rest.
The Perfectionist works tirelessly to ensure every detail is flawless, often draining energy and delaying progress.
The Pleaser wants to be liked and appreciated and earns approval by serving others, often at own expense.
The Pusher is relentlessly focused on action and results with the primary goal to get stuff done.
The Responsible part ensures you honor commitments and obligations, no matter the personal cost.
They’re all trying to help you, but sometimes they can take over, creating internal friction, and holding you back from reaching your full potential.
Discovering Who's in the Driver's Seat
One of the most transformative elements of ITD is identifying which parts are calling the shots.
For example, a Pleaser part might be so focused on gaining approval from others that you consistently overcommit at the expense of your own needs, leading to exhaustion and a lack of bandwidth for what truly matters. Or maybe a Perfectionist part works overtime to ensure every deck, every presentation, and every decision is flawless, draining your energy and slowing down critical momentum. These parts aren't inherently bad. In fact, they’ve often helped you achieve great things. The issue is when they’ve overused, they can be a problem.
The good news is that every character has a balancing opposite. The Pleaser's opposite is Boundaried which can help you to say “no”, set limits and honor your needs. The Perfectionist's opposite is Messy, which allows you to let go and embrace “good enough.”
Case Study: The Inner Protector
Every leader has a Protector on their inner team. It’s job is to keep you safe and it constantly scans for risks and guides you toward safety. On my inner team, the Protector often shows up when I'm about to take a professional risk, like speaking up in a high-stakes meeting or presenting to an audience. My heart starts beating faster, I get butterflies, sweaty palms, and tension in my arms and shoulders. The voice says “Wait, it’s not safe to speak up” or “Why the hell did you agree to this?” This part is trying to help, but in the present, it can prevent me from taking the bold steps I want to move my career forward.
You might feel your Protector in other ways… perhaps holding you back from making a critical decision, applying for a bigger role, or taking a bold step toward something you really want.
Often, the Protector teams up with other parts, which can make achieving your goals harder. For me, Protector + Perfectionist makes self-promotion and public speaking especially challenging. Case in point: I once spent an entire day recording and editing a single video because I was nervous about putting myself out there, afraid of being judged, and convinced it had to be perfect. This internal friction can be exhausting, and definitely not sustainable.
Using Awareness to Shift
It can be helpful to notice when you’re experiencing internal friction as there are likely parts with competing priorities at play. The shift can happen when you move from being unconsciously ruled by these internal characters to consciously leading them.
For example, when these parts show up in ways that aren’t serving me, I can bring attention to them, acknowledge their presence, appreciate their positive intent, and thank them for trying to protect me. I reassure them that I’m safe, which softens the tension and allows other parts, or my Inner Leader, to take the lead.
The result is a subtle yet profound shift in mindset, which leads to a shift in how I choose to respond and act. Now, when I’m presenting or speaking, I often call on my Messy and Playful inner teammates. This simple shift lowers the pressure, makes the experience feel lighter and more playful, and, dare I say, actually fun!
The Benefits of Inner Team Dialogue
With Inner Team Dialogue, you can:
Learn more about the parts that make up your inner team and discover who’s really in the driving seat.
Notice the parts you’ve pushed away or exiled that may have something valuable to offer.
Develop your Inner Leader, allowing you to proactively manage your team and consciously shift from reactive to intentional leadership.
Your inner team is always operating, whether you’re aware of it or not. By meeting your team, noticing how they show up, and examining the role they play, you expand awareness and choice. You can get curious. Which parts are supporting you? Which ones are keeping you small? And how might you integrate all of them so they work together for your greater good?
When you consciously lead your inner team, you unlock a new level of leadership. You'll make clearer decisions, create space for new possibilities, and direct your internal resources to achieve the outcomes you care about most.
If you’re ready to meet your inner leadership team and play a bigger game, I’d love to support you. I’m a Level 1 Inner Team Dialogue practitioner (now pursuing Level 2) and can help you explore your inner team so you can achieve your most ambitious goals.
Additional Resources
📚 Recommended Reading: This article was inspired by the work of Paul Wyman, the creator of Inner Team Dialogue. For a deeper dive, I highly recommend his book, Part Of Me: Learn Who You Really Are and How to Get Out of Your Own Way. You can also learn more about ITD here.
🎥 Watch & Learn: In the spirit of “messy and playful”, I've been experimenting with sharing more of myself. Check out my YouTube channel for insights on conscious leadership, the Enneagram, and coming soon… the deeper work of healing and transformation.
🌱 New Program Coming Soon: I'm putting the finishing touches on a coaching program for ambitious professionals who are ready to heal, transform, and step into their power. More details to come!